Elon Musk took to Twitter last night to announce that the first of his high-speed underground transportation tunnels will open to the public on December 10th in Los Angeles.  I want no part of this. I’m always semi-paranoid about an earthquake in LA, and that’s while I’m above ground in Beverly Hills sipping on an espresso martini (shoutout to the Polo Lounge).  Elon thinks I’m going to be okay with being locked in an underground tube? Not only that, but the rides are free? Sorry Elon, I’m not trying to be packed into your 155mph tube with a gaggle of peasants.  I’ll stick to being chauffeured around in Phantoms above ground. I don’t care how many scientific facts Elon wants to present, there is no way an underground transportation tube in LA is a good idea. Have you seen San Andreas?  Good luck being underground when the big one hits. I’m convinced that Elon is secretly a comic book-esque madman billionaire villain set on killing the human population. I mean, just go watch his Joe Rogan interview….the guy is bonkers.