It’s currently 10:30PM on a Thursday. You know what that means? Thursday Night Football is on. The Pittsburgh Steelers vs. the Carolina Panthers. Big Ben vs. Cam Newton. Obviously that’s what I’m watching, right? Fucking wrong. I’m watching Harry Styles’ Carpool Karaoke segment for the 1069th time. Now, there’s probably a lot of you out there thinking, “Are you gay, dude? C’mon bro, you can’t be watching Harry Styles. Ben is out here slinging to AB.” To answer your question: no, I’m not gay (not that it should matter, you close-minded fuck). BUT…I will openly admit that I have a crush on Harry Styles. I mean…look at the guy. He’s got incredible hair, off the charts charisma, a fantastic accent, he’s a fashion icon AND has a voice from the heavens??? I’m not gonna lie, when he hits that high note on Sign of the Times, I nearly cum myself every time. If you think that’s weird, I’m here to tell you that you are, in fact, the weird one. Guys in general try way too hard to portray themselves as an “alpha” male. My guy, just admit that you enjoy a little Bieber when nobody’s looking. It’s completely fine to let others know how much you love A Star Is Born. Go right ahead and like Zac Efron’s shirtless Instagram post. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’ve got so many fucking man crushes…Harry, Bieber, Drake, The Rock, Lil Wayne, Uzi…I could go on forever. The world will be a much better place when we can all admit that having a man crush is v normal. Until then, you uncultured swine can go back to watching a blowout; I’ve got JB Carpool Karaoke on deck. Shoutout James Corden my GGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
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