If you’re the type of person that likes Thanksgiving, I’m judging you. Hard. Let’s examine the pros of Thanksgiving: a day off of work. Now, let’s examine the cons: terribly unhealthy food, everything is closed, trash football is on, & you have to be fake nice to people that you cannot fucking stand. And there’s people that say Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday?! They should all be institutionalized. Better yet, let’s send them all to an island where they can enjoy their dry turkey and plethora of carbs while they morph into grotesque Jabba the Hutt like creatures. And don’t you dare try to imply that I’m just a jaded piece of shit that’s not thankful. I’m thankful for a lot this year. What, you may ask? Well, first off, and most importantly, I’m thankful for Aubrey Drake Graham. My guy gave us another classic album in 2018 with Scorpion. Whenever I’m miffed at the world, I turn on In My Feelings and it brings me instant joy. If I actually am in my feelings, I throw on Jaded and 6 God gets me through the struggle. Thank you, King Slime Drizzy (damn). I’m also thankful for fashion. Virgil Abloh is steady dropping fire with Nike, Hedi Slimane has returned & taken over Celine, and people have realized that Yeezys are trash. It has indeed been a great year to be a materialistic fuck and cop jawns to show your superiority. Finally, I’m thankful for me. I’m a blessing to the world, and I think it’s about time that people acknowledge it. Day in and day out, I set an example for the world. I encourage everyone to strive to be as well-dressed, charismatic, hard working & talented as I am. Most will fail, but, there is the possibility that a few will succeed. And for that, you should all be thankful.