President’s Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day…all complete bullshit national holidays.  We’re going to celebrate a guy who accidentally discovered America while enslaving and murdering people but we’re not going to celebrate October 24th?  Oh, you don’t know what October 24th is?  Let’s go back to 1986.  Let’s go to Toronto, Canada.  October 24th 1986, our savior was born: Aubrey Drake Graham.  This little mixed race miracle would go on to become the greatest musician of our generation, uniting people of all races/religions/ethnicities/nationalities.  We’re going to celebrate Jesus, a guy who we cannot even prove was real, but we’re going to ignore the man that is actually here today performing miracles?  We’re going to celebrate the birthday of slave owners but not the guy who gave us So Far Gone, Thank Me Later, Nothing Was the Same, If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late, Views, More Life & Scorpion?  I’m v upset.  I would like to formally start a movement to declare October 24th a national holiday.  Happy birthday Aubrey, I love you (in the straightest way possible, of course).